A Week: the longest seven days of my life

Dear you, 

I’ve been gone a week. Seven days. 168 hours. 10080 minutes. 604800 seconds since I left my home. I can’t comprehend. Seven days seems like such a short amount of time. I think 604,800 describes it better. I’ve been absolutely loving it here. I can’t deny it. My previous posts have said that.

But the fact is that I miss home. Not necessarily the place itself yet, although once it hits below freezing I’m sure I’ll be longing for the soft sands of the beach. I miss the people. I miss my dad and my brother. I want to walk into my house and see my dad sitting on the couch reading a book. I want to burst into my brother’s room and affectionately yell “SHUT YO FACE” at him, as he reciprocates it back to me.

I want to hang out with all my friends. Go to Sweetberries. Hang out at Cheryl’s and Ashley’s and Shelbi’s. It’s just a lot to not have anymore. I know they’re all a call away but we can’t truthfully say that it’s the same.

For the most part, it still kind of feels like a vacation. Hey, I’ve only been here a week. But there are moments. Moments when some little voice in my head breaks free and starts screaming at me that I won’t see them all for months. “You’ve made a mistake!” she yells. “You miss them! You do!” I try and hide this girl inside me. This annoyance. But she can’t keep quiet long. How do her and I coexist?

I think she’s loudest right after I get off the phone with my dad. When I hear the sadness creeping into his voice. He hides it well, but it’s there. I know it is. How could I leave my Daddy? I still need him.

I suppose most people go through this at some point in there life. I think that’s how I cope with things. I always tend to tell myself that there are people doing the same thing as me, going through the same hardships. I guess as long as I don’t feel so alone in my problems it makes them easier.

There’s also my sister’s impending departure. I am NOT looking forward to Tuesday. As hard as it’s been this past week, I’m thinking it will just about double when my sister leaves me. My sister, my twin.

Another day down.

Sincerely, me