Technology Hates Me

The Hard Drive on my one-year-old computer is not feeling so well as of late. I can feel the slimy tendrils of stress slithering around my shoulders whispering angry nothings into my ear. I am already considering how much it will cost me (I can guarantee you it will be more than what is in my pitifully small bank account). There's also the problem of my cell phone. HAHA! The fact that I've never been able to keep a phone alive for very long is a family favorite when taking jabs at me. I don't physically break them but they all seem to malfunction without fail (...or with fail? I don't know). Either way, I now have a phone on the fritz and a computer with an impending crash. Needless to say I was feeling pretty down and out. I was whining (perhaps a little too much) and my mom said these words to me, "My God! You're like one big First World Problem!"

Through the laughing that ensued I saw the wisdom in her words. She was right. These are both First World Problems. While they are still very prevalent in my mind since school starts back up in a week, I can take to heart that I still have food in my tummy and a roof over my head.

Happy New Year, all.

Christmas Time Is Here

Why is it that I spend the first eleven months of the year singing the joys of Christmas and when it comes I just wish it would be over? I get stressed and disheartened and generally just wish it'd pass as quickly and with as little pain as possible. About this time every December, though, I find something to be the kick in the pants I need to get back in the spirit. It's different every year. This year it came in the form of a very dear friends blog post. She wrote everything I wish I could think of. Give it a read, it's worth your time.

Reframing: Holiday Style

Date A Girl Who Reads

"If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads." - Rosemarie Urquico "Date A Girl Who Reads"

Sometimes I feel like I must be the only one to feel the way I do, but then I remember there are seven billion people on this planet. I cannot possibly be the only one who feels so strongly. When I am sad, I am devastated. When I am happy, I feel as though I'm floating amongst the heavens with the sun radiating inside me. When I read a book, I feel the book. I'm still not quite convinced some people understand how deep this can go.

I once had an idea for a new story. I was writing feverishly and listening to a song from a movie score. The song flung me into a pit of despair and I found myself writing and weeping. No, I was not just being an emotional wreck. I was feeling. Simply feeling. Feeling so strongly that I thought I was the story, that it was all happening to me.

Does this happen to any of you? Do you have moments when you're listening to a song and you can't help but close your eyes, purse your lips shut tight-you couldn't bear to speak? You just...feel. You get swept away in a sea of emotion, be it happy, sad, quiet, or loud.

If this doesn't happen to you-I'm sorry. Even when it's a sad moment, being able to feel so deeply and strongly is something that everyone should experience. If it does, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.

Uh Oh

Gosh darnit I did it again. I promise I will not leave this blog forever.

A few things have happened since I last wrote, the biggest of which is being diagnosed with ADHD. Yeah...I've never really been diagnosed with anything. Well, that's not true. I found out a couple years ago that I have PMDD but other than that, this is kind of a new feeling for me. While, in this day and age, it is not so detrimental to my well being what with medication, seeing a therapist, finding grounding techniques, it is still something that can be a huge part of your life if you let it.

Either way, it's still been something that's been on my mind quite a bit as of late. All those little things that are a part of who I am that I attributed to being a little "eccentric" or maybe that everybody feels that way. Well, I guess they don't. It's strange but extremely relieving to know that I have a bonified reason to be struggling in school right now, and not just that I'm dumb or lazy.

I'll leave that subject at that and move on to other news.

The holidays are upon us and I am quite excited. My cute little apartment is now my cute little Christmas apartment. It's cozy and festive. I wish it could stay this way all year long. :) Soon, the semester will be over and I'll have about three weeks to enjoy at home with my sure to be beautiful baby nephew that is so close to joining this world. All in all, life is good. A bit hectic and stressful, but good none the less.

I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving and I hope you do as well.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Kayla

I ♥ Film Festivals pt. 2

Saturday, Cheryl and I watched the movie I had been most anticipating: Adante. It was spoken in Hebrew and was about a society that couldn't dream anymore. You should watch the trailer (Andante trailer) because it gives you a really good grasp at the theme of the movie. I had a hard time following the scenes because I felt like I was missing something but then it dawned on me that what I was seeing might be following more of a dreamers perspective. It's not supposed to make total sense. Sure enough, when I got home and looked at a more detailed synopsis I knew I got just what I was supposed to from the film and would love to see it again and catch some things I surely missed. 

After that we saw The Pill. This was a welcome break to the mind-a romantic comedy. I thought the leading actress Rachel Boston (who also starred in 10 Years Later) was delightful to watch on screen and felt like she really made the movie her own. She faintly reminded me of Zooey Deschenal, just in her eclectic and slightly off-the-wall personality.

Our very last film of the festival was Vamperifica (vamperifica.com). This one was a great mixture of drama, suspense, and comedy. Trying to bring back their vampire king, two vampires turn a flamboyantly gay community college student (Carmen) into a vampire. Even though he is the reincarnation of the ancient king his soul has morphed so much over the 200 years that the vampires that turned him are forced to try and take him down. They lose, and in the process turned one of his best friends. They end up living a happy/bloody eternity.

Ahhh and the festival was over. There was one more set of shorts we were going to watch Sunday but both of us were dead beat and decided that sitting in bed all day in our pj's sounded like more fun than getting all dolled up once again, driving twenty minutes, and paying a ridiculous amount of money for tolls/parking just for one set of shorts (and it was). Between getting really good at walking in heels, to learning a little about the process of making an independent film, to walking around downtown and discovering a beautiful park this festival has got me hooked. I want to go to more and I can already say that my name will be on the list for the festival next year.

The only thing I would change is getting the VIP badges. While the free popcorn was nice, I don't really think we got enough out of it. A whole festival pass was only $15. If we had've gone to all the parties for VIPs I'd say it was worth the money. We planned on going to them, but every night when we got out of our last movie the prospect of walking to wherever the party was, hanging out for a while, and having to get up for school the next day was just never worth it. Plus I got sick just in time for the weekend (yay me).

That being the only complaint, though, I'm one happy chick. 

I ♥ Film Festivals pt. 1

This week, I had the pleasure of spending four days attending my first ever film festival in downtown Orlando. Cheryl and I have been looking forward to this a lot and more went into it than you might think. Outfits had to be planned. New shoes/dresses/shirts/tights/whatever needed to be purchased (Good thing October is almost over, my bank account can't take much more). We put our schedules together with the film schedule and our list of films we wanted to see and set forth on making a time table. We also had to factor in in-between times, places to eat, you get the picture. All in all, this has more or less been consuming us for weeks now.

On Wednesday we got dressed and rushed off to the first and only film of the evening: Virgin Alexander (virginalexander.com). I highly recommend you look it up and watch the trailer. It was a delightful movie and I absolutely loved it. It was up for multiple awards and I'm still trying to find out if it won. After the movie, the filmmakers (husband and wife) came out and did a Q&A. I learned a lot about the film that really made me appreciate working on a budget. Your cheap film doesn't have to look cheap.

Thursday, we watched two groups of shorts: Animation Celebration which included Deep Blue Breath, Dissolving Destinies, The Birds Upstairs and the Jockstrap Raiders; and Artistic Impressions which included Dream Street Productions, Hallows' Eve and the Pumpkin Dream, Land of Blossom, NIQAB, The Fall of the Cutter's Mind, and Change. In the Animation Celebration I think my favorite was definitely The Jockstrap Raiders (thejockstrapraiders.com). It was a cute tale and was very well done. For Artistic Impressions I'd go with Dream Street Productions. It follows the style of a "Behind The Scenes" type of video only you realize it's the behind the scenes for the making of his dreams. Very cool concept, and again, well done.

Friday (my birthday), we saw 10 Years Later and Moleman of Belmont Ave. 10 Years Later (10yearslaterthemovie.com) was awesome. It followed a group of friends reuniting after 10 years (duh). Their reunion, however, is a bit rocky since one of them brings a tied up sheriff with them. It got really interesting and by the end you were rooting for the characters with unexpected veracity. Moleman of Belmont Ave (molemanmovie.com) was simply hilarious. The story centered around two brothers who owned their late mother's apartment building. After the mysterious disappearances of pets around the building, the brothers find out that none other than the Moleman is behind it. Their comedic timing was fantastic and I really enjoyed it. One of the brothers from the film was there (he was also the co-writer and co-director) and he did a Q&A. He was just as funny as his character and again made me realize what you can do with a tiny budget.

I'm cutting it off here since it's already kind of long as I have lots more to tell you. Pt. 2  coming soon.

20 Things I've Learned In Twenty Years:

1. Never grocery shop when you are A) Hungry B) PMSing.
2. Trying to force others to do something your way probably isn't going to work. Compromise, compromise, compromise.
3. There's nothing wrong with asking for help.
4. For some people, music soothes all. For others that may be riding their bike, playing video games, or watching trashy tv. Respect that.
5. Don't ever make a plan that involves doing it "even though you hate it". Chances are it won't work.
6. Always try to befriend the people you work with. It generally leads to a myriad of good things.
7. The fact that people like or don't like you may be completely out of your control. Move on.
8. You don't reap any rewards if you don't first take a chance.
9. Christmas shouldn't cause you stress. I mean, it does. But it shouldn't. Relax, have some eggnog, and enjoy the season.
10. Spending a little money to make your bed more comfy is money WELL SPENT.
11. Eating bagels for breakfast for two months straight will probably make you sick of them. The same rule applies to most things in life.
12. Realize that not every decision is life or death.
13. When in doubt-sleep on it.
14. Dealing with people you don't like is an invaluable skill. I'm still working on it.
15. If you are attached to an electronic more than you are a family member, it might be time to take a break from it. Or to get rid of the family member. Either way, you should probably think about it.
16. Organized life=less stress
17. Appreciate the fact that you have a home, money in your bank account (no matter how little, it's more than some), a bed to sleep in, friends, family, you get the picture.
18. Gifts should always be more fun to give than to receive. Check your priorities.
19. Safe is boring.
20. It's your life. Live it how you want to. And above all, strive for happiness. The rest will fall into place after that.

Some of those may be exclusive to me, but for the most part I think they're pretty good life lessons I've learned (the hard way) over the past two decades. I've been blessed with a wonderful life and sometimes it just takes me a little while to remember that.

Happy day, all.